Talking means flirting for many Turkish men
Thursday, August 7, 2008
QUENTIN POULSEN
I asked a few of my friends to write about their experiences in Turkey for The English Kantin page. They are all foreigners who have been living and working in Istanbul for quite a long time. Not surprisingly, they have some interesting things to say.
These are the thoughts of MaryAnne, 33, an assistant director of studies from Canada:
”I have been in Turkey for six years. I started in Kayseri, teaching in a ‘kolej,’ then moved to Istanbul after two years.
I feel like I have lived in two different Turkeys. For me, living in Kayseri was very different from living in Istanbul, for good and bad reasons.
In Kayseri, I experienced amazing hospitality and generosity from the people I met. I was invited into people’s homes and fed wonderful Turkish food and treated kindly.
Unfortunately, because it is very traditional, it wasn’t easy to make close friends: women my age (early 30s) were all married and usually at home with their children so I rarely met them.
There were a lot of men, but they couldn’t understand that a man and woman could be friends so often when I talked to men; they thought I wanted to be their girlfriend (even the married ones!). Living in Kayseri was fascinating but lonely for me.
My life in Istanbul is very different. It doesn’t feel much different from living in London or Cape Town or Vancouver.
I have a lot of foreign friends and colleagues, my flat is modern (no Turkish toilet like in Kayseri, and no bare concrete floors covered in kilims!), and I can easily drink cappuccinos or order pizza or Chinese food.
All of these things were impossible in Kayseri when I was there. These things make life easier here, but I miss living in a place that is very different.
In Istanbul, the waiters all try to speak to me in English even though I speak Turkish. I love how sweet and generous my students and Turkish friends are, but they are all so busy with their families and jobs that we never have time to sit and drink tea together.
Most of my time here is spent at my English-speaking job or at home with my American boyfriend and it’s easy to forget I am in a foreign country.
In summary: I love the hospitality and generosity of Anatolian Turkey. I love the food, the traditions, and the music.
However, I am frustrated because I know I can never fit in and I will always be foreign, no matter how long I stay here. Having a lot of modern, Western things available to me in Istanbul makes life a lot easier but also a lot less interesting.”
*** Quentin Poulsen is a former New Zealand journalist who has been teaching English and traveling for nine years.
© 2005 Dogan Daily News Inc. www.turkishdailynews.com.tr
Also: I updated my mixed tape from yesterday. More tracks! More fun!
