How can help you another ok?

 We are currently midway through 2 Dumbass Bank Call Centre intensive training programs. They want our teachers to use their scripts to help their staff improve their telephone performance.  Below are exerpts from some of the scripts they want us to work with. 

 

SETTING UP NEW PIN

 

Agent: Goodmorning this is … speaking.

 

Customer: I’m calling because I locked my internet connection.

 

Agent: Can I have your customer number please?

 

Customer: Yes it is…

 

Agent: Is this Michael….

 

What is your mother’s maiden name’s 6. and the 8. character?

 

Customer: The 6. is … the 8. …

 

Agent: Ok. Do you have a debt card? Do you know your PIN code?

 

Customer: No. Because there is a mistake. My home adress has changed and you’ve send the card to my old adress. I need to change it.

 

Agent: Do you know your Wings card or Platinum card PIN code?

 

Customer: No.

 

Agent: You don’t know any PIN code about Akbank’s card?

 

Customer: No. Not yet. I  just have my Wings card a couple of days ago and  don’t know the PIN yet. And I don’t want to use my Platinum card any more. Please cancel it.

 

Agent: Ok. I am cancelling your Platinum card, the card’s last four characters are ….. . Do you confirm?

 

Yes.

 

 Agent: Did you lost this card in Turkey?

 

Customer: No I didn’t lost the card.

 

Agent: Ok.

 

Firstly if you want to take your information you must have a PIN code. If you want we will create it.

 

Customer: Ok let’s do it.

 

The agent goes through  the security process.

 

 

Agent: Ok. The card is in your hand now?

 

Customer: Yes.

Agent: First, the answering system wants the key in your CVV number, writes on your card. And then key in the last purchasing date (instead of card’s expire date the agent uses the last purchasing date). And then your PIN that you created. I’m putting you thruough the answering system. Thank you for calling us. Have a nice day
*********

Card Cancellation

Agent: Good afternoon my name is …. How can i help you.

 

Customer: Good afternoon. This is….. I want to transfer money from my Dollar account.

 

Do you know your customer number?

 

Yes I do,

 

I am listening to you…

 

it is …..

 

Agent: Dou you know your card PIN number? Don’t say me please if you know… Now, I will    

            transfer you IVR system. You will be asked to dial your 4 digit PIN number.  

            Afterwards you will be returned to me. Are you ready?

 

Customer: Yes.

 

Agent: It has been sucsessfull. You want to transfer money with your dollar account?

 

Customer: Yes

 

Where will you transfer the money?

 

Every month I transfer money to pay my rent.

 

Ok

 

You know rent?

 

Ok. Which branch?

 

I’m transferring from Bebek to Nianta

 

In Akbank?

 

Yes.

 

With your dollar account?

 

Yes.

 

Have you made this before?

 

Yes.

 

Your mobile phone is near you?

 

Yes.

 

We will send a message , do you accept?

 

Yes.

 

What is his or her name?

 

Ahmet….

 

Did you take the mistake before? If you take the mistake before….

 

No, no mistake.

 

How much dollars?

 

Please listen carefully. This is important. I usually send 1200 $. But now I am transferring two months rent. 2520 $

 

Two five two zero $?

 

Yes.

 

Explain is the April rent?

 

No. May and june rent.

 

Ok. Explain is the may and june rent.  Please listen carefully for your transfer. Your branch number is …. account number is …. with your account we will send Ahmet …. his account no is …. the balance is 2520 $. You will pay for this 2520 $. Do you accept?

 

Yes but you must mark it down two months rent.

 

Yes. I wrote to explain it.

 **************************

CONFIRMATION OF ACCOUNT BALANCE

 

Agent: Hello, this is …..speaking. How can i help you?

 

Customer : Can i give you my card number?

 

Agent : Yes.

 

Customer: (Gives the card number.)

 

Agent: Am i speak to…… ? Do you know your PIN of your debit card? I’ll transfer to you Interactive Voice Response Sysytem. Please dial your PIN. You’ll meet me again.

 

Thanks for dialing. How can i help you?

 

Customer: I have a YTL and a Sterling account. Can you tell me the balance of the YTL account ?

 

Agent: Your account no is … in … branch. The balance is …. .

 

Customer: (the customer interrupts)  This is not the YTL account.

 

Agent: Sorry. The YTL account balance is …. .

 

Customer: Can you tell me the last deposit in this acc. How much was the last deposit?

 

Agent: (Makes the customer wait) Gives the customer wrong information.

 

You mean the money you paid to the account?

 

Customer: Yes.How much YTL went in?

 

Agent: On the 28.April.2008 . 214.98 YTL payment, sorry 216.29.

 

            (The agent counts the last three transactions fporm the account and the customer notes down. )

 

            Thanks for calling us. Have a good day.

 

Customer: Thank you.

***********************

CARD CANCELLATION

 

Agent: Hello this is … speaking?

 

Customer: Do you speak English?

 

Agent: Yes.

 

Customer: Ok. My name is Alexander. I have an account in your bank. I have some problems with my card.

 

Agent: Do you know your customer number? Can I take?

 

Customer: My customer number is…

 

Agent: Ok. Alexis …. isn’t it?

 

Customer: Yes.

 

Agent: Dou you know your debit card digit PIN? Your card PIN

 

Customer: Yes yes I know.

 

Agent: Okey. I’ll put you through IVR. Plesae dial your 4 digit PIN. After you dial it you will  

          be throw to me.

..

It is correct thank you. Do you want to close your card isn’t it?

 

Customer: No. I ve lost my card.

 

Agent: I see. Ok I’m checking it.  …. I close your debit card 2259, do you confirm?

 

I’m checking now, just a minute please.

 

Ok closed your card. Which adress it come?

 

Customer: I’ll take it from Merutiyet branch.

 

Agent: Ok. Your debit card will come merutiyet branch.

 

            Another card is escaped or…. ( the agent cannot remmeber the word “lost”)

            Do you have another card?

Customer: Yes but don’t close it.

 

Agent: Ok. Did you use your card?

 

Customer: Yes.

 

Agent: When?

 

Customer: What?

 

Agent: When did you use it?

 

Customer: Yesterday.

 

Agent: Ok. Your card will come in one week. How can help you another?

 

Customer: Thank you.

 

Agent: Thank you for calling us.

 

 

Got bank, got ass, aint yet got no Range Rover

I was walking to work yesterday morning, cutting through the little shopping centre full of tea-drinking middle-aged women is Mrs Roper muumuus (the lite versions so in style here these days)  and the tiny boutiques that sell them, when one of the women, in the process of unlocking her particular boutique stopped to ask me where I had bought my bag.
‘In Canada’ I replied
‘Oh’ she replied, ‘I am not familiar with that shop. Is it in Akmerkez?’
‘No, no,’ I said, ‘Canada- like Toronto. Ca-Na-Da’
‘Hmmm Gogo, you say?’
‘No, Canada, in Vancouver. Just north of America’
‘So you didn’t get it in Istanbul?’
‘No, I’m afraid not’

*head desk*

Other than that moment of Zen, things are fine here. Aside from the unmentioned bomb that had Mecidiyeköy blocked off last night. And the other bomb in the thermos in the ili cemetary up the road by Cevahir. And the heat. It went down to 30 degrees yesterday, with overcast skies, and felt like autumn had finally moved in. 

I’m ready to go. I’m tired.